I can't believe, well... I can, but I find it hard to believe that here we are in the last day of 2013 already. Am I ready for 2014? I'm not sure if I do, but I have to so yeah! I'm ready, bring it on! And here's what a typical year-end blog post gonna be like; reminiscence, and a bucketful of wish.
Let's see... this year I have...
1. Graduated from my master degree.
It's hard to believe that I actually wrote both of my graduations in one blog. This blog is almost 5 year old! It witnessed everything I've gone through, including the tiring thesis-making and nerve-wrecking thesis defense. To think that I've survived those, I think I should give myself a pat on the back.
2. Still fighting for the perfect job.
I have failed so many times in a job seeking process, it's a good thing I have taken a little vacation for myself to South Korea so I am a little bit calmer. But then again, failing is never a good feeling, there were times when I questioned myself if there is something wrong with me that I kept on failing. Was it my lack of experience? was it my master degree? Was it my personality? What is so wrong?
The good thing about this is knowing that as many times as I've fallen, I've successfully stood back and strive for another chance. This is tiring, and knowing that I'm not giving up on this (because of course, I can't, I won't, ever), I can give myself another pat on the back.
3. Officially became an illustrator.
When my cousin asked me if I want to illustrate for his book, I was estatic about the fact that I would finally be an illustrator who actually does illustrate books. The experience was insane, the recognition was something I would always remember to be thankful of. The feeling when I had the physical book in my hands, and to turn the pages and see my own illustration there is still so overwhelming.
More importantly, the more chances I got to improve myself through another contract, when I was asked to illustrate another book, followed by other books. It felt so fulfilling, although I know I'm still far from what you can call a professional illustrator. But eh, I'm on my way there! So I will give myself a pat on the back and a cheer for being able to get closer to one of my biggest dreams.
4. Solo traveling to South Korea.
Korea oh Korea, there is something about this country that made me fall so hard for it. It wasn't even the famous k-pop stars because no, I'm not. I won't even recognize them if I ever see them on the street except if they're YG artists or really super mega famous (like, you know, Girls Generation-but I doubt they'd be walking on the same street I walk on, lol).
Maybe it's the cosmetics? Yes yes, and all the shopping-spree I can do there, but more than anything, I think it's the aura, and the people I met, and the adventures I had. I still want to come back there again. I think I should just make it to my yearly plan; visiting Korea every year. I would love to visit other countries too, I want to know if they also have the same strong force like Korea does.
To be able to survive in a foreign country alone, to have created precious memories, to have made new friends, I will give myself a pat on the back, great job, Tiara!
5. Fallen in love, fallen out of love, fallen in love again, yeah.. that cycle.
That's just me being me. The ever so emotional me. I don't think I can survive without feeling either falling so very deeply in love or being hurt so bad I want to kill myself (eh, never to that extreme actually). So yeah, I wonder if this should make a cut here but well, it's kinda a highlight of my year too. Haha...
And with 2014 approaching in less than 24 hours, what would be on my wish list?
1. I want to fall in love, so very deep in love it will inspire my every moves. I want to find the one, he who will make me cry one time and laugh another time and both at the same time.
2. I want to find a job. Like please. I want to know where do I belong in this society. I want to prove to myself that I actually can do what others expect me to do. I want to find a way to be financially independent before 25, please.
3. I want to travel more, to South Korea again because it's on my yearly planner, Japan so I can buy the famous greentea flavored kitkat, Europe so I can walk down all the artistic aisle. Most importantly, I want to do it with my loved ones and it doesn't actually matter where, as long as I can get lost with him.
Traveling solo is fun, but please, I also want to have a romantic getaway with my boyfriend to a country far far away where nobody knows us so we can do whatever we want without having to think about what others would think of us.
4. I want to illustrate more. I would love more chance to paint, draw, and illustrate. But here, what I'm actually asking for is an inspiration and strong-will. Because my own laziness is something that kills me, giving me such a guilty pleasure that I will eventually regret.
I want to be inspired, to see life in a new light, to discover new things that excites me, because lately I've been feeling that life is getting boring. This is clearly not a good thing. So I have decided to start from smal things like making illustration for my blog posts. I hope this will work on forcing myself to draw, just like what I do with this post, I hope I can continue with this little commitment.
5. I want to find myself. I am at this age where I feel lost almost everyday. I am maturing but I found myself retreat back to my comfort zone whenever things get ugly. I want to jump out of that, to take every challenge and dare myself. I want the chance to do that, either given or created by myself. I want to be braver, and forgive myself, and knowing myself more, and enjoy life.
So basically, all I want now is for 2014 to be an upgraded version of 2013. I want to achieve more, feel more, travel more, laugh more. Phew, I feel like this post is a pretty serious one, while I originally wanted to make a fun post with cute emoticons and all. Haha...