Aug 15, 2014

Hello Beautiful!

It was during working hours that I made some drawings on my laptop. You know, since my job does require drawing nobody really noticed, lol. In my defense, I'd say I've done my part of the job and I was bored so a little drawing won't hurt, right?

I saw miss Katie on facebook showing her latest project to "Call someone you love", "Write Someone You Love", etc. and I thought it was really cool. How long has it been since the last time you wrote letters to someone you love? 

I mean, in the old days we use letters all the time, my mom still have the love letters my dad sent her when he was courting her, and isn't that the cutest thing? I would want my lover to send me a letter too, because sometimes there are words that are hard to say and will flow better through writing.

I've always been fascinated by writing in all form, be it letters, postcards, or even emails and blog posts (and comments!) because well, the essence is to let others know what you feel, but let's admit, there is something a little bit more special in hand-written letters, right?

Remember when I said I wanted to revive my artwork line? I guess the first product will be postcard. I will try to make them special, and maybe I will have a little project to send postcards to you lovely readers. Actually I'm not sure and a little bit scared, I mean... this blog has been so quiet and well, starting a business is always thrilling and exciting so yeah, fingers crossed, wish me luck! Until then, I will greet you with one of the postcard designs.

Jul 23, 2014

When I have too much to talk about

So I wanted to update this blog yesterday with a continuation of my Seoul adventure series, then I found out that I accidentally deleted all my pictures in my Line Camera folder on my phone, and apparently I had no back up in my computer so right now I am wailing at the loss... *SOBS* I guess I will update tomorrow with some pictures from my instagram and other social media platform... but still...

anyway, there is Ied around the corner, which is a big holiday for us muslim, which means long holiday is approaching! WOO HOO~! Which explains all the holiday mood in the office, like almost everyone is too busy planning for the holiday instead (including me). Well fortunately I've finished all the to-do-list I gotta do until the end of the month so I am freeeeeeeeee~~~~~ °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

What else is new? Oh, I am planning to revive my littletiara/tiararisa artwork line after the long holiday. Been researching for some needed informations, so wish me luck with everything! And please do anticipate the comeback! Hehe~

Something about the job and office? I'm doing good, I still can do whatever they want me to do and I can start enjoying the job (not that I didn't enjoy it). But of course, me and my never ending list of needs will forever seeking for a way to earn more, so yeah, that's where my artwork is coming to. (◍•ᴗ•◍)

Also, I've been trying new stuff and media to draw, it's always fun experimenting. I've been trying out with water colors and water color pencils, weee... so fun! The result is (of course) different from what I've been doing and it gives a pretty nice feeling trying and creating something new. Well, I am forever seeking and creating and evolving my style, so I have to learn to accept my own ever-changing style, I guess. (◡△◡✿)

I wanted to show my new artwork off but I have no scanner around me right now so.. ugh...

another dilemma I've been having for quite some time now is if I should buy a new phone, or a new camera, or just save the money for more travelling (lol) aish.. I can't seem to make up my mind... *SOBS* Even about travelling I can't decide where I wanna go, Korea (again, of course), Japan, or Bangkok? Aish, If only I were a billionaire I've flown to those places already.. aigoo aigoo..

Oh oh oh... another thing! I have this tiny liiiiittle crush here in my office! YAY! (eh...) I mean, I have someone to look forward to whenever I go to work, hehe~ found this cute little eyecandy and ughhh... I feel like a high school facing her crush all over again, dayummm... I still haven't found a way to even know his name so... uhmm.. :|

okay, so this post is everywhere and going nowhere I know. I guess it's just another life update post? Lol, I originally wanted to do some make up review, or showing you my HG list of make up, but eh.. that has to wait.

Jun 26, 2014

Life update, I missed you!

Good day everyone, how long has it been since the last time I shared you my life update? Soooo many things had happened I barely have time to update my dear little bloglette. Also, most of my bloggy friends are so busy to update too so it seems more quiet here in the blogsphere lately. I gotta do some more blog-walking so I can meet more new friends. People, wait for me!

Anyone noticed I changed my layout a little? I want to revamp this blog but I guess things are happening slowly, well.. one step at a time, I guess? How do you like it so far? Is the title too pale? Can you actually see it? I wanted to make something watercolor-ish because that's what I've been doing lately with my artworks. I also want to restart my artwork little shop, it's been idle somehow :( but I promise I will force myself to create artworks from time to time. Because there's no such thing as not enough time, it's just a matter of priority, right?

I missed doing a lot of things I used to do now that I've found myself a job. The job itself isn't so hard and also kind of fun. I've landed myself as a visual content in a fashion retail company, how does that sound? Nice, right? It is. But honestly speaking, I need a lot more than the company pay to fulfill my heaps of needs of clothes and make up and gadgets (lol). More importantly, my passion towards art and creating stuff is still alive and kicking and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. I want to keep it alive, I have to keep it alive. While the work I do in the office is somehow artsy, it is still not enough. So here I am reliving the littletiara artwork line. I'm thinking of changing the brand 'littletiara' to my name, tiararisa. How do you like it? (I wonder if anyone is even reading this post, lol).

So how's life been treating me? So-so. I'm still on my training days until next month. I'm honestly still thinking if I was meant to be here, I like the job, but it doesn't bring the most of me, that must be why I keep on seeking of time to create artworks. Sadly, sometimes I'm too tired (and lazy) to do anything when I got back from work. But now, I will promise myself not to be too lazy anymore. You know the feeling of not doing enough? Funnily it's not for my boss because they all seem satisfied with my work, it's not doing enough for myself, because I know what I'm capable of but I'm not doing enough to let them shine.

I watched 2NE1's concert! (Okay, this is so OOT but whatever, lol I will find a way to connect it). It was super cool. Super crazy, everything was amazing but the most remarkable for me, other than the super cool lighting and stage was the performance of 2NE1's leader CL. I just have to talk about it! She seems sooooo very happy to be on stage, it was like she was born to perform. Her smile was so wide and it shows how proud and happy and satisfied she was to perform in front of us. I want to be like her, to be genuinely happy doing what she likes best. Of course, all of the girls were stunning and adorable, too!

I miss the happy feeling of finishing my artworks, and someone ordered it and received it and show it off to their friends and colleagues. It wasn't much, but to create something useful to make someone's day brighter, isn't that a really nice feeling? No wonder CL looks really happy, the energy of her fans that filled the arena transferred to her and her team. We were all really happy to be able to share the same place with 2NE1, the happy energy, how huge it must be?

Also, I miss speaking English T^T this sounds so weird, right? So other than creating graphics and visuals for my company website, I also contribute in writing some blog-content. But they're all written in Bahasa. And I can't find anyone who can converse English here with me T^T. I'm afraid  my English is becoming dull, so I figured that means I have to write more english, right? To keep my actively speaking English. I know I know this sounds so weird, I myself didn't think there would be a day I would complain about the lack of speaking English in my life ever, lol.

Other than working and watching a super-exciting concert, trying to create more artwork and struggling to keep speaking English, life's beeen normal. I've been purchasing lots of make ups (lol), and I plan to review them soon. Most of them are Korean products (like of course) but I also purchased an NYX lip cream, and a japanese mascara. So yeah, lots of things to talk about, eh? ;)

I missed you  guys, I hope you missed me too (heheh...) I will try to update more frequently! Ah, wish me luck with everything!

Jun 4, 2014

it's been an honor loving you

I am always someone who loves being in love, who loves loving. For me, being in love is a pleasure, a happy journey, and exciting adventure. Whenever I decided to be in love, I know the risk and tried my best to only fall for the ones worthy enough. But of course, love is love and it's as unexpected and unplanned as it is. And when I got my heart broken, or falling out of love I remind myself that I chanced it upon myself, that it was always good while it lasted, that it had brought so many smiles upon myself, that no matter how short it was, it gave me happiness and let me know someone better than I thought I would.

Being in love is never a bad thing, even during the confusing time, even when I'm crying because of it, even when a relationship ends, even when it's an unrequited love, being in love is never a bad thing. The lesson learnt, the memories captured, the happiness within, everything would only be there when I am in love.

Being in love scares me, because it is beautiful and mind-blowing and overwhelming and exciting and everything. Because being in love brought me all the feelings and emotions I wouldn't experience when I am not in love. How many times have I fallen in love? I can't even tell because honestly I've lost count of it. How many times have I fallen out of love or got my heart broken? I'll never be able to tell because of course, I don't know... why would I keep track on such sad occasion?

It's been an honor loving you. The fact that I love you is a proof enough how wonderful you are at least to me. How you got me smiling ear to ear and maybe even invaded my dreams shows how great of a person you are, how you've brought me happiness no matter how small.

So here I am thanking you, you, and you. For the happy times, for the memories, for the smiles, for the fun midnight chats, for the red blush on my cheeks, for smelling good on our dates, for the silly selfies, for the warm hugs, for the tickling little kisses, for everything, thank you for letting me love you, it's been an honor loving you.

Dec 30, 2013

it's a wrap!

I can't believe, well... I can, but I find it hard to believe that here we are in the last day of 2013 already. Am I ready for 2014? I'm not sure if I do, but I have to so yeah! I'm ready, bring it on! And here's  what a typical year-end blog post gonna be like; reminiscence, and a bucketful of wish. 

Let's see... this year I have...

1. Graduated from my master degree.
It's hard to believe that I actually wrote both of my graduations in one blog. This blog is almost 5 year old! It witnessed everything I've gone through, including the tiring thesis-making and nerve-wrecking thesis defense. To think that I've survived those, I think I should give myself a pat on the back.

2. Still fighting for the perfect job.

I have failed so many times in a job seeking process, it's a good thing I have taken a little vacation for myself to South Korea so I am a little bit calmer. But then again, failing is never a good feeling, there were times when I questioned myself if there is something wrong with me that I kept on failing. Was it my lack of experience? was it my master degree? Was it my personality? What is so wrong?

The good thing about this is knowing that as many times as I've fallen, I've successfully stood back and strive for another chance. This is tiring, and knowing that I'm not giving up on this (because of course, I can't, I won't, ever), I can give myself another pat on the back.

3. Officially became an illustrator.
When my cousin asked me if I want to illustrate for his book, I was estatic about the fact that I would finally be an illustrator who actually does illustrate books. The experience was insane, the recognition was something I would always remember to be thankful of. The feeling when I had the physical book in my hands, and to turn the pages and see my own illustration there is still so overwhelming. 

More importantly, the more chances I got to improve myself through another contract, when I was asked to illustrate another book, followed by other books. It felt so fulfilling, although I know I'm still far from what you can call a professional illustrator. But eh, I'm on my way there! So I will give myself a pat on the back and a cheer for being able to get closer to one of my biggest dreams.

4. Solo traveling to South Korea.

Korea oh Korea, there is something about this country that made me fall so hard for it. It wasn't even the famous k-pop stars because no, I'm not. I won't even recognize them if I ever see them on the street except if they're YG artists or really super mega famous (like, you know, Girls Generation-but I doubt they'd be walking on the same street I walk on, lol).

Maybe it's the cosmetics? Yes yes, and all the shopping-spree I can do there, but more than anything, I think it's the aura, and the people I met, and the adventures I had. I still want to come back there again. I think I should just make it to my yearly plan; visiting Korea every year. I would love to visit other countries too, I want to know if they also have the same strong force like Korea does.

To be able to survive in a foreign country alone, to have created precious memories, to have  made new friends, I will give myself a pat on the back, great job, Tiara!

5. Fallen in love, fallen out of love, fallen in love again, yeah.. that cycle.
That's just me being me. The ever so emotional me. I don't think I can survive without feeling either falling so very deeply in love or being hurt so bad I want to kill myself (eh, never to that extreme actually). So yeah, I wonder if this should make a cut here but well, it's kinda a highlight of my year too. Haha...

And with 2014 approaching in less than 24 hours, what would be on my wish list?

1. I want to fall in love, so very deep in love it will inspire my every moves. I want to find the one, he who will make me cry one time and laugh another time and both at the same time.

2. I want to find a job. Like please. I want to know where do I belong in this society. I want to prove to myself that I actually can do what others expect me to do. I want to find a way to be financially independent before 25, please.

3. I want to travel more, to South Korea again because it's on my yearly planner, Japan so I can buy the famous greentea flavored kitkat, Europe so I can walk down all the artistic aisle. Most importantly, I want to do it with my loved ones and it doesn't actually matter where, as long as I can get lost with him.

Traveling solo is fun, but please, I also want to have a romantic getaway with my boyfriend to a country far far away where nobody knows us so we can do whatever we want without having to think about what others would think of us.

4. I want to illustrate more. I would love more chance to paint, draw, and illustrate. But here, what I'm actually asking for is an inspiration and strong-will. Because my own laziness is something that kills me, giving me such a guilty pleasure that I will eventually regret. 

I want to be inspired, to see life in a new light, to discover new things that excites me, because lately I've been feeling that life is getting boring. This is clearly not a good thing. So I have decided to start from smal things like making illustration for my blog posts. I hope this will work on forcing myself to draw, just like what I do with this post, I hope I can continue with this little commitment.

5. I want to find myself. I am at this age where I feel lost almost everyday. I am maturing but I found myself retreat back to my comfort zone whenever things get ugly. I want to jump out of that, to take every challenge and dare myself. I want the chance to do that, either given or created by myself. I want to be braver, and forgive myself, and knowing myself more, and enjoy life.

So basically, all I want now is for 2014 to be an upgraded version of 2013. I want to achieve more, feel more, travel more, laugh more. Phew, I feel like this post is a pretty serious one, while I originally wanted to make a fun post with cute emoticons and all. Haha...

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